Osteopathic syndrome

An insidious neurological disorder often presenting with voluntary auditory nerve palsy, egotism and sharp pain in surrounding colons

Aetiology
Osteopathic syndrome (OS) is closely associated to those who have began tutoring within 1-3 years of qualifying as an osteopathic practitioner. The initial sense of self importance and authority is more prevalent in those less capable of a genuine income and manifests as a complete neurological deficit in reality perception during tutoring.

Pathophysiology
The physiological origins of OS is thought to be associated with sexless lives of boredom by the previously bullied but this is yet to be confirmed via trials.

Symptoms
Initial presentation of OS is displayed by a variable voluntary auditory nerve palsy with a continued vocal stimulation. Progression varies but can present with preferential attitudes, expectation of hot beverage delivery, excessive sense of self importance, narcissism and willful ignorance.
If left untreated, OS can lead to a cranio-rectal fusion and eventual complete self absorption.

Diagnosis
The symptoms of OS are to be differentiated from similar conditions such as DJitis and autotheism. A clear case history displaying a previously undertaken osteopathic degree can prevent misdiagnosis.

Treatment
Initial stages of OS can be treated with considerable doses of Shutthefuckupamol. In rare cases an additional course of fuckyoucilin can assist with complete eradication.
Once this disorder has progressed past the excessive self importance phase it is advised to treat the patient’s pineal gland with a lead bullet.

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